Ben and Miss Barbara (by Robin)

Summary:  (Excerpted From “Fire”)

Word Count:  9200

 

 

                                          Ben and Miss Barbara

 

 

Ponderosa Ranch
Nevada Territory
Late Winter, 1847

 

As he worked at his father’s desk, Adam Cartwright found himself listening for the sounding of the grandfather clock near the door, waiting for it to strike twelve. At noon he had to give Little Joe the medicine that his father had left for him. Maybe then he could stop for dinner and spend a bit of time with his baby brother. The ranch paperwork was hard going but Adam was making good headway towards completion. The recordkeeping was the part of ranching that his Pa liked the least, and was the one chore that Adam felt he could best help with while he was stuck in the house tending to Little Joe. Adam had a certain satisfaction in adding the columns of numbers and making all the entries tallied perfectly. He had already caught up most of the pages his father had left for him and hoped to make the ledgers up to date by the time his father got home for supper. There was only one stack of bills that had to be entered and he would be done.

Adam knew his father was counting on him to be his right hand man as he always had. Since Adam could remember, Ben had talked to him like another man. He had never coddled him or treated Adam like a baby during all the years they had struggled and worked hard. First, with the two of them traveling west, Adam learned to follow orders without arguing and pitch in with out complaining.

Later, when Hoss was a baby after Inger was killed, Ben depended on his older son far more than most men ever depend on a small boy. Adam always worked hard, never complaining, never disobeying any request his father made. He always watched out for his brother and tried to get schooling at every chance he had. Eventually, when the Cartwrights came to build the Ponderosa and Ben married Marie, things were easier for them all. They were living in a fine, permanent home. They were always warm and dry and had a stout roof over their heads. Their beds were soft and their bellies full. The ranch that Ben had dreamed of for many years was finally prospering.

Adam still worked hard and shouldered his responsibilities unquestioningly. Marie and Ben would often argue when Ben demanded too much from Adam but Pa insisted that Adam was the eldest and was a man compared to Hoss and Little Joe. After Marie died, Adam worked even harder trying to help over burdened father.

Even though Adam was also grieving for his beloved stepmother, he never allowed himself to let his sadness show. He told himself that he had to be tougher and stronger and work more industriously. He made sure his two younger brothers toed the line and were well-tended and didn’t disturb Pa any more than necessary. That was Adam’s self-appointed job and he made sure he did it extremely well.

The seventeen-year-old had spent the morning trying to pull together the ledgers for the ranch and doing barn chores so he could be near his ailing little brother. Their father had been gone a bit too long for Joe’s taste and Adam wasn’t quite sure what he should do next. Ever since his mother had died, Little Joe had a terrible time when his father was out of his sight for long. Although he never really complained, eleven-year-old Hoss missed Pa too. Hoss was out with the men tending to the cattle.

Adam was hoping the boys would not make too much of a fuss and that by bedtime their father could be home to say good night to them. Adam would be glad to see his father too. When Pa walked through the door, Adam could breathe a sigh of relief that his shift was done and Pa was back in charge.

When Adam knew his father was in the house, he felt relief wash over him. For a few brief moments, before he fell asleep, Adam finally could allow himself to feel like the child again — Ben Cartwright’s son and not the grown man in charge. Adam would lie in his bed listening for the sounds of his father walking down the hall. First Pa would check on Hoss, then on Little Joe.

Last, he would open Adam’s door. Ben would sit on the edge of the bed and review the day with his son. Adam would ask how everything went with the cattle or the fences, and, man-to-man, they would discuss what chore should be done next and how to handle all the cattle they were losing. Adam would tell his father how the younger boys managed and how much the little boys missed their father when he was away. Pa would tell him how much he counted on his oldest son and what a big help Adam always was and always would be to him.

Every once in a while, when the boy heard his father’s boot steps approach his door, Adam would pretend to be asleep. He didn’t want to talk man-to-man with Pa or help solve Ponderosa problems. His father would then pull the covers up over Adam’s shoulders and tuck him in just like he did with the younger boys. Ben would kiss his first born on his forehead and Adam would never let his father know he was still awake and savoring his father’s affection like a small boy.

Adam could never admit to anyone that he too desperately grieved for his stepmother and longed for his father when he was gone from the house. He struggled as much as Hoss and Little Joe, possibly more. Adam just kept it to himself not wanting to add to Pa’s immeasurable burdens. In the daylight, Adam wouldn’t even admit that truth to himself. He decided, as the eldest, he was expected to keep up a strong façade no matter what he felt inside. His father was counting on him and he would never, ever let his father down.

Ben had been remaining in Virginia City during the murder trial, helping Sheriff Coffee keep a lid on the tension that was building up in town. Pa had told Adam that Miss Barbara of the Altamont Saloon needed his support during the trial and had made sure Levi Victor, Ben’s own lawyer, was retained as her defense attorney.

”Adam, come play with me. I miss Pa and Hoss. I’m so very lonely,” Little Joe called from the area next to the fireplace. He had spread all his tin soldiers and wooden animals around and was stacking pieces of firewood around to make fences. “You can be the army or the pirates, either one.”

Adam looked up from his father’s desk. “Can’t, Buddy, I got to get this work done before Pa gets back.”

“Then sing to me while you work, Adam. I like how you sing,” Joe pleaded. He started singing one of Pa’s favorite hymns, “Bringing In the Sheaves”, hoping Adam would join in. His brother didn’t get the hint. Before he could sing a second song, Joe’s throat started tickling uncomfortably. He started coughing and couldn’t continue with his serenade.

Little Joe had been sick off and on all winter, and this round of sickness had dragged on endlessly. Joe was cranky and lonely and impatient to go outside. He kept pleading with Adam for attention and his brother kept putting him off, trying to get the work done for Pa. Neither brother was getting what he wanted.

Joe looked up and saw that Adam wasn’t watching him. The little boy walked over to his father’s chair and ran his hand over the arm. He scrambled into the seat and tried to imagine sitting on his Pa’s lap. He closed his eyes and leaned far back into the deep cushions but it was not the same as cuddling up with his Pa. The little boy slid off the chair and glanced over at Adam. His brother was still working with his head into the papers at Pa’s desk. Pa’s pipe was sitting on the little table next to the chair and Joe cautiously picked it up and put it into his mouth. The smell reminded him of his Pa and made him happier, less lonely.

“Don’t you mess with Pa’s things, Little Joe. Are you putting Pa’s pipe in your mouth?” Adam called from across the room. “Pa don’t want you slobbering on his things.”

Joe quickly put the pipe back in its place and shouted back, “No, Adam, I am just looking.”

”Well look with your eyes and not your hands or your drooling mouth,” Adam reprimanded the child. Joe was amazed, as usual, at how quickly Adam caught him.

”Then let me go out side to the barn and play. Just for a little bitty bit.” Joe bargained. “I want to check the horses. I am sure they really miss me.”

”No, it’s too cold. You just play by the fire and keep me company. The horses are fine. Hoss should be back to eat soon. They should be done moving those cattle to lower pasture by the end of the week and then he will be around more after school.”

“You work too much, Adam. You need to play with me,” Little Joe argued again.

“This work has to be done and I have to do it all. If you would quit interrupting me, I would have been done. Now quit bothering me!” Adam added the same column of figures for the third time.

Joe eyed Pa’s pipe again and tried to estimate if anyone would ever catch him if he tried to smoke that pipe. The tobacco would smell just like Pa and Little Joe could pretend he was Mr. Benjamin Cartwright of the Ponderosa and tell his mean son Adam to be nicer to his little brothers and not be so bossy. Then Adam would have to obey him and play and play all day. Joe reached out to touch the forbidden smoking pipe but jerked his hand away when he heard some clatter from outside. Maybe it was his Pa coming home.
Both brothers heard the sound of horses approaching outside and heavy steps on the porch. Both brothers hoped it was Pa coming home but neither said anything out loud.

“Seems like we’re takin’ risks we don’t have to be taking,” Shorty complained loudly as he and Hoss walked in the door.

“What do you mean?” Adam put his pencil down and walked purposefully across the room.

“Do you think thirty head or more just wandered off, Adam?” Shorty Magee sounded plenty angry. He had spent most of the last two days — freezing days — riding the High Pasture and claimed there was no trace of them. “Frank Dayton is missing cattle and so is Carl Duprey on the Circle D.”

“I’m not saying that. It’s just we would have seen some tracks or something. It’s a few missing cows from each of us,” Adam answered. He looked Shorty in the eye.

”Maybe it was them dang Indians,” Shorty said. “Someone needs to go out and teach them heathen Paiutes a lesson.”

“It’s been a hard, cold winter and we’ve got along way to go until spring. They must be hungry,” Hoss countered. He was chilled thoroughly from the freezing rain and sleet and the seemingly fruitless search for the missing cattle. He took off his wet coat and hat and hung them up on the rack near the door. “Is supper ready?”

“I could go, Adam, Maybe I could find the lost cattle. Pa said I have very sharp eyes,” Little Joe offered. “I don’t even need to have no dinner. I can go right now.”

“What are you doing over there, Little Joe? You feeling any better?” Hoss asked.

“I’m just playing with my soldiers, Hoss. You come play too.” Little Joe scuttled away from Pa’s pipe and leaped onto the settee. He quickly started playing with his tin soldiers and the little wooden horses his brothers had carved for him. He balanced a line of troops across the cushions and tried to give the illusion he was being a very good boy. He would try to snag that pipe another day when there were fewer brothers watching over him.

“The snow filled in the pass pretty early on and the cavalry has been pushing the Paiutes out of the low lands,” Adam said. “John Dayton wrote home from Fort Mead that they had been fighting pretty fierce with Ka-Pusta and his renegades. Frank told me last time I saw him.”

“Can I go help too?” Little Joe repeated louder. His voice was raspy and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. Still no one paid any attention to him. He wiped his nose a second time.

Joe stuck out his lower lip and looked back at the pipe. Pa would let him go help. Pa always said that Little Joe had sharp eyes and was really a big help. “My Pa would let me help,” he sulked. He eyed the distance between the settee and the pipe and looked to see if anyone was watching him. Maybe he could sneak out of the house with the pipe and smoke it in the bunkhouse with the hands. Shorty or Zeb or that new hand would play poker with him and he could smoke Pa’s pipe like a man.

“You are sick and you ain’t goin’ nowhere, Little Joe.” Hoss walked toward his baby brother. He was just going to play with the boy but Little Joe took it as a warning that he should not attempt to steal the pipe, at least not that very day.

“I know your Pa left you in charge of the ranch, Adam, but that don’t mean you know anything,” said Shorty Magee. He had a defiant, angry expression that made Adam feel the hand was looking for a fight. Shorty was a few years older than Adam, a hard drinker and a saloon brawler. Adam was taller and broader but wasn’t quite sure he could hold his own if it came down to a knock-down fight with Shorty Magee. He didn’t really want it to go that way, especially with his two little brothers watching. Pa wouldn’t approve of a fistfight in the house it could be avoided.

Hoss looked at his older brother wishing he could think of something to help him, to back him up. The husky blonde boy was embarrassed for his older brother. Shorty Magee was a tough man and it looked like he was devouring Adam skin and bones.

Adam sighed. His face reddened and he swallowed hard. Speaking in his firmest, most decisive voice, Adam ordered, “Shorty, I know what I am saying and I want you to go back out their tomorrow with Shecky and Zeb and bring the cattle in before the snow is so deep that we can’t bring them down to the lower pasture. All of them.”

Hoss nodded in agreement. Adam sounded pretty fierce, almost as tough as Pa.

“Look Adam, I’m not goin’ nowhere or doing nothin’ till your Pa tells me what to do. You may be the boss’s son, but you’re just a kid.”

Adam sucked in his breath. “What are you saying? While my father is off the Ponderosa, you take your order from me, Shorty; you and all the other men take your orders from me.” He stood tall and glared at the man trying to imitate his father’s staunch demeanor.

”I take my orders from your Pa or Hays Newkirk, the Ponderosa owner or the Ponderosa foreman, not some wet behind the ears boy. Ben Cartwright hired me, not his little boy.”

The front door swung open and Hays Newkirk walked into the front hall. He also was wet and cold. He had spent the morning in Virginia City with Ben, sitting beside him at Barbara’s trial and was in no mood for any foolishness.

“Is there some problem here Shorty?” His lake blue eyes were flashing. He pulled off his hat and shook the wet snow off it. Hoss was glad to see Hays and smiled broadly. Mr. Newkirk would know how to back up Adam. Hoss was mighty relieved to see him.

”This kid seems to think he can tell me what to do, Hays.” Shorty grumbled.

”Do you mean young Mr. Cartwright here? Don’t you think you should call your boss Mr. Cartwright?” Hays was in no mood for Shorty’s snotty, lazy behavior. More than once Hays had wanted to fire Shorty but something always came up. Shorty was a good hand when he did his job. He would never push Ben Cartwright to the point of getting fired. Now the Ponderosa was very short-handed and Shorty was testing how much he could pull on the Cartwrights.

Hays had no tolerance for any man who didn’t back up Mr. Cartwright when he was in a tight spot. Hays felt you signed up to work for an outfit, you backed up the boss no matter if he was riding next to you or if he was off the ranch. “And since when do you call me Hays? Maybe you should just settle up your wages and ride out of here!” Hays hollered furiously.

Hoss and Little Joe had never seen soft-spoken Hays this enraged. Frightened by the foreman’s out burst, Little Joe ducked down behind his father’s leather chair, clutching one of the tiny wooden horses in his hand. He sincerely wished his Pa was back home.

”No sir, Mr. Newkirk. I don’t want to do that, Mr. Newkirk. Just with Mr. Cartwright gone…”

”Which Mr. Cartwright? Mr. Ben is in town but I see Mr. Adam Cartwright standing right in front of your darn fool face. Maybe you should tell him that you are sorry and get back to whatever work he was telling you to do. Or go pack up your gear and get off the Ponderosa.” Hays glared at the disagreeable hand.

”Yes sir, Mr. Newkirk. Sorry, Mr. Adam.” Shorty put his brown hat back on his head and stomped out the door of the ranch house and headed out to the barn to put up his horse.

“Thanks Hays.” Adam smiled.

Wide-eyed Joe wriggled out from behind his father’s chair. He was quite impressed with his giant brother’s courage.

”Don’t go thanking me. Now what was all that about, Adam? Your Pa left you in charge and I came back here to some sort of mess,” replied the foreman.

“No, everything is really ok. Shorty thinks we are missing some cattle.”

”Shorty just can’t count past ten without taking off his boots and he is too damn lazy to ride off up into the hills to find some strays. Don’t pay him no mind. He’d rather blame the Indians. Most folks around here are too quick to blame the Indians for their own shortcomings.”

”Thanks, Hays.”

Hays sighed tiredly. “No problem at all, Mr. Cartwright.” It was the first time Hays had ever called him anything but Adam.

Adam smiled proudly at the respect Hays had shown him. “Thank you, Mr. Newkirk. How is Pa doing in town?” Adam hoped Hays would say that Ben was already on his way home.

“We got much bigger problems to deal with than a few head of cattle or even a few dozen head…Hoss, you go in the kitchen and get me some hot coffee from Hop Sing. Little Joe, you go with him.”

Little Joe hesitated and looked at Adam, hoping his brother would allow him to stay.

“Go on Little Joe. Hays told you to leave the room,” ordered Adam.

Hoss took his little brother’s hand and they both stood stock-still.

Adam looked at Hays. Something was clearly going on in Virginia City and Hays wanted to talk to Adam privately, man-to-man. Hoss and Joe didn’t move.

Hays glared at them. “Don’t just stand there, boys. I am frozen straight through. Go get me some hot coffee before I freeze solid from the cold.”

The two younger boys ran into the kitchen. They had never seen soft-spoken Hays Newkirk look so unyielding.

“Your Pa wants you to come into Virginia City with a couple of the men and give him and Sheriff Coffee a hand. He wants me to take your brothers over to my house until this is all done. It don’t look real good, Adam. The Paiutes are shifting around up in the hills too.”

The hair stood up on the back of Adam’s neck. “The Paiutes?”

Hays went on to explain that the trial was winding down and if Levi Victor didn’t convince the jury and the townspeople of Miss Barbara’s innocence, it looked as if they just might try to hang her. “Imagine, they want to hang a woman? Don’t matter how she earns her living, Adam. There is talk that they don’t even want to wait for the jury to make a decision. The judge is having a bad time keeping order.”

Tensions were running high and Sheriff Coffee was worried that the town would erupt into a lynch mob. Ben Cartwright was helping to guard Miss B. He needed Adam to come in and help stand by his side. They were also extremely afraid that some of the men in town might even ride up into the hills to attack the Indians too.

Barbara Gillette had been accused of the murder of a drunken miner. His body was found in the alley behind the Altamont Saloon. Earlier that day, the man, Howie Keeler, had shot an innocent Indian woman who was just walking along in Virginia City. The drunk had gone into the Altamont Saloon and continued drinking. Howie had bragged loudly how he had shot down a “dirty squaw.” When Barbara argued with him, Keeler had cursed at the saloon owner and tried to strike her. The piano player, Turner Van Zant, and Cosmo the bartender had tossed him out the door.

Shortly after dark, Keeler was found dead, shot in the heart by a small caliber bullet. Miss Barbara was immediately arrested and the new circuit judge, Jacob Marsden, had arrived a week later for the trial.

”Roy wired the Major at Fort Mead to send some troops around and he refused, claiming they were too busy and he was too short-handed. Your Pa almost put his fist through the wall when he read that wire, Adam. It’s that Major Chadwick’s job to protect this area of the territory. Roy was fit to be tied too.”

”The Major refused? He can’t do that!” Adam exclaimed. “Not with the Indians threatening to attack.”

”Chadwick claims he don’t have the men. Levi managed to get help from Fort Channing. The Major there is going to send a detachment of men, but they won’t be here for a few days and Roy and your pa are afraid some of them drunks and yahoos might disrupt the trial or try to attack the Indians or go out for Miss B. Things look pretty explosive… sort of like a tinder dry prairie during a drought with a lightning storm brewing up on the mountains. One flash and the whole place can go up.” Hays walked over to the gun case near the stairs. He started pulling rifles out and loading them. “Your Pa said to come armed and I should make sure the hands were ready for trouble here too.”

Adam nodded. “Sounds like this is pretty bad.”

“They say the dead squaw was Ka-Pusta’s sister and he’s out to take revenge. I’ll make sure your brothers are safe with Rebecca and my children while you are gone. That is what your Pa told me to do.”

Adam pulled down his rifle and started loading it. “I can ride out in about a half hour.”

Hays frowned and continued loading a rifle. “Adam, just be careful. It takes an awful lot to shake up your Pa and I never saw him this worried.”

 

*****

 

The endless night dragged on.

They had all drunk more than their share of coffee. Other than Adam, none of them could sleep from the tension and anticipation of the impending danger. Just before midnight, young Adam had sagged down at Roy’s desk and fallen asleep with his head on the desk.

Leaning his rifle against the wall, Ben took down the lantern from the black iron hook. He pulled a match from the pocket of his leather vest, and scratched it across the stucco wall. It flared up immediately, throwing a bit of amber light into the darkness of the cell area. He stood for a moment, one hand against the wall, the other holding the glass lantern chimney up. He carefully lit the wick and watched it blaze up. “Tell me more about you, Miss Barbara.”

The back of the sheriff’s office was chilly. Ben opened up the door of the iron pot bellied stove and stoked the fire.

“What is it that you want to know, Mr. Cartwright? Is it all right if I call you Benjamin?” Barbara raised her eyes to look up at him from where she was sitting on the lumpy cot. Roy had left the cell door unlocked and wide open so that Barbara would not be trapped if the worst happened. He had told her to run out the back or front if she had to, if the lynch mob broke into the jail.

She felt much more comfortable and safe with the tall, handsome rancher nearby. The streets out side were still quiet but she knew the crowd might reappear at any moment to carry her off.

In the adjoining room, Cartwright’s oldest son, Adam was awkwardly sleeping at Sheriff Coffee’s desk. The boy had his dark head pillowed on his arms and his pistol lying nearby. Barbara could see Levi Victor nervously peering out the window behind the desk. “May I call you Benjamin?” she said softly. He wanted to know more about her life. She was more used to being in the company of men who wanted to talk about themselves. They either wanted to drunkenly brag about themselves or cry miserably on her soft, bare shoulder. Men were rarely interested in her other than physically and then they left. This gentlemanly cowboy was very different from the hordes of rough men who usually frequented the Altamont Saloon and sought the company of Miss Barbara Gillette and her girls.

“May I call you Benjamin?” Barbara repeated cautiously, watching him walk towards where she was sitting in the cell. He leaned his rifle against the wall.

Ben smiled warmly at her question. Marie had called him Benjamin. “Not too many people call me that. Usually it is Ben, or Mr. Cartwright…my three boys call me Pa. I hear that quite a bit of late. Pa this, Pa that. My wife died a few months ago and it has been hard for the three of them to loose their mother so suddenly. For all of us.” He paused and looked at her soft brown eyes watching him. He stopped talking for a minute realizing he was running on like a callow schoolboy. ”Enough about me and my boys and the Ponderosa, Miss Gillette. But most people call me Ben.”

”What you would prefer? Ben?”

”Benjamin is fine too. I would sort of like that. Benjamin.” It was nice to hear a woman’s voice say his name with such a friendly, musical lilt in her voice.

“Benjamin,” Barbara repeated. She patted the cot next to her. “Come sit down next to me. You look quite tired and it is going to be a long night.”

Ben walked into the cell and sat down on the edge of the cot.

 

*****

 

“Nobody told me that the road would be easy … that my life wouldn’t be so terribly difficult. But I was completely devastated that he brought me this far just to send me away again,” Barbara told Ben softly. She had been telling Ben Cartwright how she came to be in Virginia City. Like many others in town, she had been brought up back east, in Pennsylvania. She had fallen in love with a medical student in her hometown and he had joined the Army as a surgeon with a cavalry unit after he graduated. The little potbellied stove had warmed up the cell area and Barbara had removed the severely tailored jacket of her black velvet suit and folded it neatly across the foot of the cot. The blouse she wore underneath was softly shirred cream-colored silk that flattered her graceful throat and showed off her well-rounded figure. Barbara’s father, a tailor, had given his wholehearted approval for their marriage shortly before he died. “My father was very fond of Dr. Morton. Papa was sure he would take good care of his only daughter. I had just turned nineteen and thought I was quite grown up. About eight months after Father died, Dr. Morton sent for my mother and me. We were to come west and the wedding would be where he was stationed. Nonnie and I would live with my husband at Fort Mead. I call my mother Nonnie. My husband would make a career with the military for a few years. If he liked it, he would stay on with the army. If not, we could settle in one of the growing towns out here and he could be able to start a medical practice anywhere he wanted. I would be an officer’s wife or a physician’s wife. It was so very exciting. I was going to have a whole new life here in the west.”

”Then what happened?” Ben asked. He had moved from sitting up straight on the edge of the cot to leaning his back against the wall more comfortably. The long night was dragging on. Tensions were high and no one but Adam slept. The streets out side were silent and deserted right now but only a half hour earlier, they had heard some yelling from the alleyway across the street near the Rusty Bucket Saloon. Through the doorway Ben could see Roy nervously pacing in his office and eyeing the door. Adam had awakened and was quietly watching for trouble through the barred windows of the Virginia City Sheriff’s office. Levi Victor checked and rechecked the ammunition in each rifle. He was trying to appear nonchalant about this, to seem confident, but he had never bargained for this. He had lived quite elegantly in New York, the youngest son of a well-respected judge. He and his wife had only been in Virginia City two years and never imagined he would be protecting a client from a lynch mob and worrying about an Indian uprising.

As the night went on, Ben told Miss Barbara how he and his two older boys had come west and how they had built the Ponderosa. He told her about marrying Marie and how happy they all had been when Little Joe was born. Barbara knew that Ben’s beloved wife had died suddenly just before she had met the Cartwrights on her way to Virginia City. Even though Ben never said as much, she knew that he and his boys were still mourning Marie’s unexpected loss.

“Dr. Morton made arrangements for my mother and me to travel out here with a wagon train. One of the other officers, Captain Chadwick, was bringing his fiancé and her sister out there too. Irma was her name. She was planning to marry Captain Chadwick. The two officers hired a man to drive our wagon. I don’t recall his name but he was a sturdy, quiet fellow. He was a nice man but he got killed in the fight when the Apaches attacked us. I thought my mother was killed too. Everything happened so fast and it was so terrible.”

”Apaches?” Ben knew how brutal the Apaches could be to settlers who came into their territory.

”They killed many of the men and set most of the wagons on fire. The Indians took a few of the women hostage. They took me and Irma and her sister. A minister’s wife too. Only Irma and I managed to stay alive. The first week the Apaches killed the other women when they cried or couldn’t keep up or tried to run away. They killed them all. Only Irma and I were left. Just the two of us women survived.”

Ben poured some water from the tin pitcher in the corner and offered it to Barbara. She took a sip from the cup and continued with her story. “Eventually we were brought back to Fort Mead. It was months later. I discovered to my delight that my mother was still alive. All along Nonnie had insisted that I was alive too. My darling mother never gave up hope for me, even though Dr. Henry Morton did.”

Ben held her hand. ”I would never give up hope if one of my boys was missing until I was sure… I would never give up either. I would search to the ends of the earth for one of my boys.”

Barbara smiled. It was clear to her how he adored his beloved sons. She could imagine Ben Cartwright never giving up on his boys, just as her mother never stopped her devotion to her. Even when things got desperate, her mother never stopped loving her.

“My intended was sure I had been killed by the Apaches. I think he would have found that far more admirable than what had actually occurred while I was in captivity. When I finally got to Fort Mead, Dr. Morton told me to leave. He refused to marry me. My mother found us a place and a few days later, when I had regained my strength, we left the Fort. Chadwick married Irma, but we were told to leave, leave as soon as possible.”

Ben automatically wrapped his arms around her “How could that Morton fellow do that? And he was a doctor too!”

”He said that I was damaged goods. Doctor Morton said that he wouldn’t accept delivery of damaged goods.” Barbara held her chin up proudly, but her eyes flashed with the pain of the old hurt.

Ben gasped “My God! You were just a young girl, not a load of merchandise.”

”That was how he felt, Benjamin” She looked at her graceful hands in her lap.

”We can’t choose how we feel, Barbara, but we can choose what we do about it. Had he no heart?” Ben was aghast that any man could be so cruel, so disloyal to a woman he had claimed to love. To Ben Cartwright, love didn’t end so easily.

”He said I was damaged goods,” she repeated softly. She looked right into Ben’s dark eyes. Barbara was absolutely sure that Ben Cartwright would never have behaved as Doctor Henry Morton had behaved.

“Weren’t you engaged? Morton had wanted to marry you. He had asked you to come out to the fort to meet him, to be married and become his wife, for better or worse.”

Barbara nodded. “But that was before the Indians. The Apaches took us first. The two of us, Irma and me, and they…” Barbara hesitated to continue with her story. “They had their way with us. For weeks. Finally we were traded to some Paiutes for some cattle and three horses. They were fine horses we were told.” Miss B smiled despite the sadness of the tale. “We were considered quite valuable and worth some very fine livestock in payment. One of the men who took us was Ka-Pusta.”

”Ka-Pusta? The son of the chief? The one they keep chasing?” Ben was amazed that Barbara had known this infamous rebel.

”Yes,” she whispered softly. “Ka-Pusta, the one the cavalry keeps chasing and the same Ka-Pusta that some of the Paiutes want to kill. Ka-Pusta. He protected us from the other Indian men. He kept us safe and brought us back to the fort. He had traded good livestock for us but returned us to the cavalry. Ka-Pusta didn’t ask for any payment in exchange.”

 

*****

 

 “It has been a terrible hard year. Maybe the worst time I ever had since we came out here and I don’t know if it is going to get much better for a long time. I’m really not quite sure how I am going to manage if my oldest boy goes off to college… when he goes, I should say. He has his heart set on it. I count on my oldest son Adam a great deal. Probably more than I should.” Ben never had admitted that aloud before, even to Marie. He found himself amazingly comfortable sitting next to Barbara Gillette on the narrow cot and talking his heartfelt thoughts. He confided his misgivings to Barbara as they sat side by side on the narrow bunk in the jail cell. His thigh felt the pressure of her hip through the soft fabric of her skirt.

“He is a fine boy.” She smiled. “Adam is a brave young man. You must be so proud of him.”

”Very proud,” Ben bragged.

”It must be difficult for you to be alone.”

Ben nodded silently. “I don’t want to be alone, Barbara. Nor do you.”

Barbara looked deeply into his sincere eyes and remained silent.

Ben swallowed hard and took Barbara’s hand in his. Suddenly he realized he was suggesting they should continue seeing each other when this situation was resolved. He wanted her to marry him, to be his wife. “All I can really offer is difficult times, Barbara, and my love for you. Things have been really bad for me this year since Marie died. I lost a good part of my herd over this winter and all my boys have been sick. Little Joe is sick right now; he just can’t seem to shake it.” Ben sighed. “Just about the most trying, difficult year I had since I came out here to Nevada Territory.”

 “Benjamin, any woman with half a brain would rather have difficult times with you than good times with anyone else.” Miss Barbara took both his rough hands between both of hers and gently squeezed them. “You are a fine gentleman.”

He smiled at her compliment. “Thank you.” He had forgotten how much he enjoyed the gentle warmth of a woman’s soft hand touching him. “I am not talking about ‘any woman with half a brain’, Barbara. I am talking about you.”

“But what on earth do I have to offer you, Benjamin? It seems like every time I see you I am in the center of turmoil and you have to ride out and rescue me from a dangerous situation. First on the road with those awful bandits and then you sent Levi Victor to defend me in court and now… You and Adam are keeping me safe until the trial finishes. I am just making your life far too complicated. Maybe you would be better off alone then your getting involved with a woman like me.”

“I would rather be beside you in the middle of a storm, a blizzard, in all this turmoil, than all by myself, alone, and safe and warm and calm. Alone is just no good.” Ben shook his head. Hearing his own words out loud, Ben finally acknowledged how terribly desolate he had been since Marie’s sudden death. He been burying his grief working day and night and taking care of his boys as best he could. Many nights he collapsed into his bed too tired to think about how much his missed his beloved Marie and how desperately lonely he was. Spending this time with Barbara, the rancher realized that building the Ponderosa was not enough; raising his boys was not enough and would never be enough for him. He was a man who enjoyed having a woman to share his life with, both good and bad. Ben truly didn’t want to be alone. This is what he hungered for those cold lonely nights since Marie had died. There was not only an empty place beside him in his bed; there was emptiness in his heart. His boys, friends like Roy Coffee and Levi Victor, and working his ranch could keep him busy but not really fill that icy void. Here, he was sitting close to a woman who stirred his blood in a way that he hadn’t even realized he had even been missing. The nearness of an attractive woman was setting fire to Ben Cartwright. He gently took her hand in his. He turned her face to his and gave Barbara a soft kiss. She didn’t pull away.

”But what about your boys, Ben? What about them? You aren’t alone.”

Barbara had waited so long for a man like Benjamin Cartwright to come into her life but now her personal situation was far too complicated to seriously consider his offer. She couldn’t allow her past and how she lived her life now to tarnish his fine reputation in Virginia City. He was a gentleman, an important person in Virginia City. He didn’t deserve what would happen if he publicly associated with her.

For one brief instant, sitting next to Miss Barbara Gillette in the dark jail cell, Ben realized he had completely forgotten all about his sons. He had shocked himself. He was so caught up in enjoying Barbara’ feminine companionship that for the first time since Marie died he hadn’t even thought about his boys for an instant.

Suddenly, there was an angry shout and the crash breaking wood and glass from out side. A shot was fired, then a second. Ben bolted up and grabbed his rifle.

“You think we are going to have real bad trouble?” Adam asked Roy and Levi Victor.

“Benjamin?” Barbara’s voice trembled. “Be careful. Don’t get yourself killed. I’m not worth it.”

”Don’t say that, Barbara!” Ben slid his pistol from his gun belt and handed it to her. “Use this if you have too.” She stood alone in the middle of the cell and watched his retreating back as he cautiously walked out of the cell area into the sheriff’s office.

“Sounds like trouble is here if we want it or not,” Roy Coffee sighed. “I sent one of your men riding off to see if he could catch up with that cavalry unit and get them up here as fast as he can.”

”That leaves us one man short,” Adam said nervously.

“I know it does but we didn’t have much choice, son. We can’t let this situation start trouble with the Paiutes,”

Levi Victor took a shotgun and nervously followed the sheriff out into the street. He had never expected to be defending a client in this manner when he left New York City. His wife and Mrs. Coffee were barricaded in the Wallace’s house. The nervous attorney prayed they would all be safe there until this was over.

Ben stood facing the doorway, his back to the cell area. He had put himself between Barbara and the entrance into the sheriff’s office. He headed for the front door to face the angry lynch mob that was approaching the jail.

“Pa, it’s not right. Miss Barbara didn’t ask for this.” Adam looked past his father at the pale frightened woman standing shaking in the cell. The hand holding Ben’s gun was hidden in the folds of her ebony velvet skirt.

”There’s always a possibility of trouble whether you ask for it or not, son. Maybe it is just better to face up to it now. You watch that side of the street over there. Just like we discussed.” Ben opened the door slightly and stepped out in front of the sheriff’s office to stand next to Sheriff Roy Coffee and Levi Victor.

“Sheriff, you better give us that woman!” an angry man demanded.

Slowly, Ben levered a bullet into the rifle. He hoped he wouldn’t have to use it, but he wanted to be ready to shoot if he had to.

“You figure you can shoot us all, Cartwright?” the ringleader shouted.

“You and Levi can’t get all of us!” Deke Glen shouted.

Adam stepped out and stood beside his father. He was almost as tall as Ben but not quite as broad. He raised his rifle and aimed it at Deke.

”Hold your fire, son,” Ben said softly. “Wait until I give the signal.”

 “Just give us Barbara Gillette and we’ll let you all go!” one man shrilly demanded from the back of the crowd. “She killed Howie Keeler and we are gonna string her up!”

“You men just get movin’!” Roy Coffee ordered. A whiskey bottle flew from the back of the crowd and struck Roy in his head. He fell to the ground, blood streaming from his wound.

Levi Victor fired his shotgun over the heads of the lynch mob. “This one is over your heads, boys, but the next one will be hitting flesh!” He hoped the miners didn’t see his hands shaking. The only time he had ever fired a rifle was back in New York when he rode on a fox hunt with a Columbia College classmate. He hadn’t hit anything except once when he accidentally fired his rifle and hit a tree. Roy told him to use the shotgun, as he didn’t have to aim very well to hit something or someone.

Ben immediately took charge. “Get moving!” the rancher shouted forcefully. “Go home. Let the court finish this trial legally.” There was no way he would ever allow the men to harm Barbara. He glanced down at Roy Coffee lying bloody at his feet. Shattered glass littered the wooden sidewalk. Roy moaned softly and seemed to be regaining consciousness. His hand went to the gash in his head. “Stay steady,” Ben calmly urged Adam and Levi. “Stay steady.”

Deke shouted. “You men can’t take on all of us.” He waved his pistol in the air. “Give us Barbara Gillette, now!”

Ben looked directly at him unblinking. His voice rumbled with authority. “Maybe I can’t get all of you. But I can shoot you first and he’s next.” Ben pointed his rifle barrel directly at Deke’s brother, Dexter. “After that, do you really care much what happens?” Ben held his breath and stared defiantly at Deke Glen.

Adam prayed that the crowd listened to what his father had said. He glanced sideways at Ben, watching for a signal. Then he shifted his gaze back at the unruly crowd and the side of the street his father had ordered him to watch.

Deke lowered his gun. “Let’s go,” he sneered to the rest of the men. They turned and started to walk back down the dark, empty street.

As suddenly as it had started, the crowd had quickly receded. As Ben described it years later, the confrontation was like a sea squall, a big blast of bad weather and then sudden, dead calm silence, no wind, and flat dead seas.

“Adam, help get Roy inside,” Levi directed as Ben kept his rifle on the men’s receding backs. Levi’s hands were shaking but he could see Ben’s stance was as firm as granite. Cartwright stood resolutely. He stared unblinkingly at the angry miners, his finger steady on the trigger.

“Yes sir.” Adam helped the sheriff to his feet. Roy leaned his weight on the boy and stumbled inside. Blood was running down Coffee’s face from the gash in his forehead.

 “We did it, Ben,” Levi smiled proudly. “They are gone. It’s all over.” The ragtag mob had turned tail and dispersed into the shadows.

Ben nodded. “It’s all over.” He watched the suddenly empty street for a minute and then turned and walked into the sheriff’s office.

 

*****

Neither one of them wanted to be the first to say “goodbye”, so neither one did. Neither wanted to end what was going on but both Ben Cartwright and Barbara Gillette knew it would not be simple to continue what a begun between them. Her life was far too complicated to draw in Ben Cartwright she insisted.

He knew she was probably right.

“I can’t make you love me if you don’t.” Ben paused hoping she would give him the answer he wanted. He desperately wanted Barbara to throw her arms around his neck and exclaim that things would work out. He wanted her to tell him that there was no complication that they couldn’t defeat together. He wanted her to say she would not wait for Ka-Pusta to return, that she loved only Ben Cartwright, not Ka-Pusta. He longed for her to tell him that she loved him just as he had realized that he loved her.

“I can’t make your heart feel something that it won’t feel for me.” Ben sighed pulling her close to him. “What if I gave you more time to think? What was that word you use? To ‘process’ this situation, to sort things through?”

They stood silently, staring into each other’s eyes, holding on to each other. Ben could feel the rhythm of her heart beating like a drum as he held her for one last time. Barbara pulled from his arms.

“Barbara, we can do this, together. We can make a life together on the Ponderosa.”

She shook her head. “Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. Benjamin, I can’t just be a rancher’s wife. You are a good man. A proper, fine gentleman. I can’t do this to you or your sons. You are part of this community. Virginia City is building into a really fine town, not an uncivilized fork in the trail. You need a fine, proper lady for a wife, one who can stand beside you, not someone who will cause your children terrible pain.”

”Pain? Barbara, you would never be cruel to my sons. You would never hurt my boys…” Ben started not completely understanding when she was saying.

”Your boys shouldn’t be the subjects of hateful gossip and vicious looks each time they walked into the Mercantile or go to the school or you all sit down in church.”

”How can you say that….?” Ben tried to interrupt her.

She put her finger on his lips to silence his argument. “There is no way this will ever work out, Benjamin. This is not a fairy tale. It is real life. And life doesn’t always work out fairly or happily ever after!” Barbara said firmly.

“We can try!” Ben argued. He had never been dissuaded by anything difficult. Life was hard but he was a determined man and willing to face the challenges.

“I’m not Marie,” Barbara whispered. She had heard all about beautiful Marie Cartwright from Levi and others in town. She had heard from Roy Coffee how Ben’s late wife was graceful and clever and adored by all who knew her. Levi Victor even told Barbara how Ben despaired when his beloved wife died.

“I’m not your Marie.” Barbara repeated softly.

Ben pulled her closer to him. “No, you are not Marie. You are Barbara Gillette. I am not expecting you to be Marie.”

“Ben, I have a past that would make life difficult for us…” she started.

“Hanging on to the past just stands in our way,” Ben argued. “We both have pasts.”

“But the past is sometimes our present,” Barbara answered enigmatically. She rested her cheek on his broad shoulder as he held her close in his arms.

“What do you mean?” Ben smoothed his hand slowly though her long loose hair.

”I still love Ka-Pusta; I always will…” she said softly.

”I’ll always love my boy’s mothers, also,” Ben started to respond. Perhaps the main reason he was so anxious to have another woman in his life was the fact that he did love his late wives so much and sorely missed that part of his life.

“Benjamin, your wives are dead. Ka-Pusta is still alive. He is going to come back for me. He promised me.”

”Come back for you? Come back here, to Virginia City for you, Barbara?” Ben was astonished he had not really understood the depth of the relationship Barbara had shared with Ka-Pusta. “You haven’t seen him in years!”

”No, you are wrong. I saw him not very long ago, here in Virginia City. The Indian woman Keeler shot was Ka-Pusta’s sister. I’m certain he knows what happened. He will be back for me. Ka-Pusta is not dead. He’s coming back for me.” Only Levi Victor had known of her connection to the rogue Indian. Barbara had told him in confidence and Levi kept that secret. And now Ben Cartwright knew this secret as well.

Ben was silent. His Marie was dead; she could never come back. Ka-Pusta would and Barbara was going to await his return.

“I’ve made up my mind. I thank you for all you and Adam have done for me these last few days. I truly do. Far more than you will ever know.” Barbara looked directly into Ben’s sad dark eyes.

They heard footsteps behind them. “Got some papers for you to sign, Miss Gillette. Then you can go on home.” Roy Coffee interrupted.

“Thank you, sheriff.” Barbara walked silently to the outer office where Levi Victor waited to escort her back to the Altamont Saloon.

”She told you, Ben. Don’t go chasing waterfalls,” Roy Coffee said as he put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You and Adam can head on home now. I’m sure your other two boys miss you quite a bit.”

Ben nodded silently.

“You know how Little Joe gets when his Pa is gone for too long,” Roy reminded him.

Adam agreed. “Little Joe has a real bad time. We better ride out, Pa.” Adam really wanted to get to the Ponderosa and make sure his brothers were safe at the Newkirks.

Barbara had turned her back to Ben as she signed the release papers Levi had brought to her. She had already made her decision.

“Judge ruled that Howie Keeler died from natural causes,” Levi smiled proudly.

Roy laughed, thinking of the bullet hole in the Keeler’s chest. “Lead poisoning?”

“Lead poisoning? Who knows, who cares. Barbara is free and the cavalry made sure there was no trouble with the Indians.”

“Let’s ride out, Adam.” Ben said reluctantly, putting his hand on Adam’s shoulder.

”You sure, Pa?” The boy looked from his father’s sad face to Sheriff Coffee.

”You heard your Pa, boy. Go home to your little brothers,” Levi directed. He watched as the father and son walked out the front door of the Virginia City Sheriff’s office leaving Miss Barbara Gillette behind.

 

The End