Summary: Part thirteen of The Cherry Tree Saga
Word Count: 5500
The Cherry Tree Saga
Part 13
“After”
Chapter 1
It had been six weeks now and Ben was hardly getting used to seeing only two of sons walk into the barn in the morning or sit at the table at dinner. He often found himself thinking he needed to talk to Hoss about some livestock problem or tell him some funny thing that Sam had said or done. Each time Ben heard the sound of horses approach the house he would think for a brief instant that Hoss must be back from the range. Then it would all rush back to him that Hoss was gone forever and never, ever coming home.
As the summer passed, Ben’s broken ribs healed and his injured ankle slowly got better. The limp was almost gone. Sam still followed him around like a watchdog and Ben was glad to have the company. Each time Doc Martin came by to check Ben’s progress, the boy carried in Paul’s bag for him and sat attentively as he checked Ben out.
“Maybe I’ll be a doctor some day, Grandpa. A rancher and a doctor both.”
“You could do that,” Ben said watching Paul Martin pack up his instruments.
“Then I would take care of people and horses too. And cattle.”
“People and cattle you say?” the doctor said taking his stethoscope out of Sam’s curious hands. The boy was listening to his own heartbeat.
“And I can take care of monkeys too.” Sammy added.
Paul Martin chuckled at the boy’s imagination. “Monkeys you say? We don’t get too many monkeys in Virginia City.”
“But then I will be ready if we do. Like from a circus that came to town. Mama took me to a circus when we lived in San Francisco and they had lots of monkeys.”
“We can use some more doctors here in Virginia City, Sam,” Doc Martin smiled.” Just you Cartwrights alone keep me pretty busy. But I don’t think we have a whole lot of monkeys in these parts. Just people and cattle.”
Paul smiled and looked at Ben Cartwright who shrugged, shaking his head at the unique direction Sam’s imagination always took. The boy was a source of constant amusement to all the adults on Ponderosa.
Both Joe and Adam were laboring very hard keeping up with the work on the ranch and between Ben’s injury and Hoss’s death, they had to shoulder a huge load. Adam still had to keep track of his Stoddard and Bruce projects and rarely had a spare minute. He wanted the San Francisco office to be opened on schedule just as he and Dennis planned.
Hays tried hard to help out but he too was grieving the loss of his son, Dean as well as taking care of his pregnant daughter in law, Bonnie. His wife Rebecca and younger son, Casey were bearing up as best they could.
At Kate’s insistence, she and Adam had moved from Mim’s house in town into the downstairs bedroom on the Ponderosa for a while. Sam slept upstairs in one of the small bedrooms. She felt that they all needed to be together and that Ben would not allow his ankle to heal up if she were not there to keep track of him on a day-to-day basis. She was also worried about Sam’s safety in town.
She gave some of her staff more responsibility at the Enterprise and was able to do some of her writing from Ben’s desk on the Ponderosa Ranch. Once or twice a week, she went into Virginia City and checked on the paper and had lunch with Nancy Foster. She could leave Sam playing with the Foster children and do other chores with a clear mind that he was safe and well cared for by Nancy. No bank robbers would dare look for the lone witness playing at the sheriff’s house. Her son needed to spend some time with other children his age and get away from the all the mournful adults on the ranch.
The afternoon was spent alone at Mim’s empty house. Kate would unroll Adam’s plans on the kitchen table and examine them over and over again. Occasionally she would sketch out some details or make a list of corrections for him. Kate would silently walk around the place and imagine their new house in her mind’s eye. She needed to have something happy to look forward to or she would have lost her mind. By dinner time she and Sam would return back to the Ponderosa Ranch and try to sort out of what was going on while she was gone.
Sam was extremely glad to be at the Ponderosa and stayed glued to his grandfather. Ben enjoyed having a second generation of small boys on the ranch and Sam gladly spent time with him.
Adam had found him a sassy gray pony, Katarina, to ride and Joe dug out the old saddle and bridle that he had used for Lucky. One afternoon Ben decided he was feeling well enough to ride his horse a bit. He took Sam out and showed him how to check the fence lines on the south meadow.
As Ben pounded some new posts into the ground, Sam stood waiting to help.
“Sam, hand me some more nails.” Ben asked as he started to string the wire.
“Grandpa, I miss Uncle Hoss, awful bad.”
I know it’s hard, son,” Ben said. He put the sledgehammer down on the ground and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder comfortingly. “We’re all struggling to get used to him not being here. I’m afraid, Sammy, that you have had more than your share difficult times in your short life.”
“I just miss Uncle Hoss so much, Grandpa” Sammy said tearfully.
“We all do.” Ben swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. He closed his eyes as he hugged Sammy tightly and took a deep breath. Tears filled his eyes thinking of his dead son and of the pain his young grandson must be feeling. “But I remember that as long as you remember someone in your heart, a piece of that person stays alive. Do you think you can do that Doc?”
The boy nodded. He wiped his tears on his shirtsleeve. “Yes sir. I will always remember Uncle Hoss as long as I live.”
Ben pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his own eyes. Kneeling down facing his grandson he said to his him “Now blow.” The boy let his grandfather wipe his nose and eyes. Ben stuck the handkerchief in the boy’s pocket.
“I love you, Grandpa.” Sam put his arms around Ben and they hugged each other close. Having Sam to care for seemed to help Ben deal with his own grief. He felt he had a purpose. Day by day Sam and his grandfather grew closer as the rest of Ben’s family pulled asunder
Chapter 2
For Ben, far worse than the pain of losing Hoss, was having to watch his two other sons, Joe and Adam, wrestle each day with the burden of grief they carried. With Hoss gone Joe and Adam squared off eye to eye with no other brother left to calm the storms of their rage or yank them apart. The two brothers, the oldest and youngest of his boys pulled in their own separate directions.
Ben could imagine what Adam and Joe were going through and this upset him even more. Hays Newkirk, his foreman, had been at Sayler’s Creek with him. His oldest son, Deputy Dean Newkirk, had been shot down leading the posse two weeks after they killed Hoss.
One night, the two men sat quietly side by side on the porch in the dark.
“Benjamin, I never thought we would be sitting here two old men burying our own boys.” He rubbed his chin and stared at the night sky.
Ben looked at his hands “ Guess we have no choice. You play the hand you are dealt no matter how good or how bad it may be. It is the only hand you get.”
Hays sighed and nodded his head. “Dean’s wife should be having that baby any day now. Bonnie wants to take the children and go back to Kansas to her people after that baby is ready to make the trip. I hate to see her go. My Rebecca it taking this pretty hard but won’t let on in front of anyone that she wants Bonnie and those babies to stay right here with us.”
”Maybe she will change her mind.”
“It used to be my table was pretty crowded. Dean and Molly and the baby, the missus, my girls, Casey. Soon all it will be is Casey and the missus and me. Won’t need much of a table no more, Benjamin. It’s those empty chairs at dinner.”
Ben nodded.” I guess it is the measure of a man how he takes such a loss. It can make you bitter like Abel Stoddard. Look how he became when my Elisabeth died. Or you can pick up as best.”
“From what you said, Stoddard wasn’t never much of a man, Benjamin. Even before Elizabeth died. He was a miserable bastard. You can’t rise to the occasion when you are a low down louse.”
Chapter 3
Ben sat himself down at the head of the dinner table, and the others took their accustomed places around him, Joe on his right and Adam next to his brother. Kate sat on Adam’s’ other hand at the foot of the long dining room table facing her father-in-law. Sam was next to her, facing Adam.
On Ben’s left side was an empty chair. It was the place Hoss had occupied for all the years they had lived in the ranch house. As a boy, Hoss had selected that seat. His stepmother Marie was still alive and was trying to tame this all male household a little by making sure they sat down to the table with clean shirts and polite behavior. Ben remembered his middle son telling him that by sitting in that seat, he got the first view of the food platters being carried in from the kitchen and wouldn’t get caught in between Adam and Little Joe poking at each other.
Now all Joe could see opposite him, as a constant reminder at each meal was his dead brother’s empty chair.
Adam, seated next to his younger brother noticed how Joseph was twisted in his seat and had pulled his chair at an angle to the table. He kept his eyes on his dinner plate. He attributed his brother’s silence to the late nights Joe had been keeping or some unspoken anger to Adam. Most meals, if Joe did join them, were silent affairs with only little Sam and Ben at opposite ends of the table attempting to keep up a conversation.
“Grandpa, could we go fishing soon?”
”That sounds good; my leg is feeling much better. And I am sure we would all enjoy some fish for dinner.”
”How about tomorrow? Uncle Joe do you want to go fishing? Pa? “ Sam struggled to get everyone in the discussion but he was fighting a loosing battle with his step father and his uncle.
Joe didn’t even look up. He silently poked at his roast beef with his fork. He was tired and aching from breaking horses all day. His shoulder hurt from hitting the corral fence when he was thrown. Joe had lain in the dirt for a long while but refused to listen to Hays when he told him to quit for the day. He worked for another few hours and was now feeling the pain of all his bruises.
“No, son, I have to check up on the North pasture if the water is holding for the herds up there. “ Adam answered. “I would hate to have them die from thirst in this hot weather. And I have some matters to attend to for Dennis.”
Adam looked next to him at Kate. His wife, he noticed looked tired and pale.
Kate was trying to observe Joseph with out his noticing. She had known her brother-in –law since they were six or seven years old but had never experienced him behaving as he had since Hoss was killed.
Joe had always been the center of all the jokes and socializing in the family and amongst his friends. Even when things were difficult, he tended to want to be around people, almost to a fault when he was younger. He was known to sneak out through his bedroom window to visit in Virginia City rather than obey his father’s punishments. Joe would never give up a party or dance and usually could string along a few different pretty girls at the same time if he wasn’t courting a special one. As much as he liked to spend evenings in town at the Silver Dollar or Bucket of Blood playing poker or having a few beers it was always the company of other people that he enjoyed more than the gambling or the drinking. And he rarely if ever drank alone or drank to such excess as he had been since his brother was murdered. Joe withdrew from people more and more each day.
Kate almost felt that someone had kidnapped the Little Joe Cartwright she knew and loved and replaced him with a sour spirited look alike-bedeviled twin. It was like the story her mother used to tell her about the changeling child that was left behind by the elves.
Joe squirmed painfully in his seat. His head was down and he silently poked a fork at the food on his plate, pushing it around and not eating it.
“Pa, I’m done. Excuse me. I have some things to attend to tonight in town. “ Without waiting for a response he pushed back his chair and walked away from the table and quickly walked to the front door. Sam jumped up from the table and ran after him.
”Could I go too Uncle Joe?” Sam asked.
“No.” Joe snapped at him bluntly. They heard the front door open and slam shut as he quickly left.
“Sam, get back to the table. You didn’t finish,” Kate called to her son. The boy walked back into the dining room.
“Guess he wasn’t hungry, Mama.” Sam tried to make an excuse for his uncle’s abrupt departure. In his own innocent attempt at cheering her, he took a big mouthful of mashed potatoes and shoveled them into his mouth. No one at the table even noticed or made mention of the gravy on his chin.
Adam shrugged his shoulders. Ben’s dark eyes met Kate’s at the opposite end of the table. Something was terribly wrong and they needed to straighten it out. But unless they could figure out what it was, they were helpless to act.
Chapter 4
Adam followed any news about the Carson City Gang and plotted out where they were seen or committed a crime on a hand drawn map. Kate had forbidden him from hanging the map in the house and he silently brought it outside and nailed it on the north wall of the tack room.
He withdrew into hard work and kept the ranch running. Many nights were spent reviewing Stoddard and Bruce reports and drafting letters with his responses. He ate less and less each day despite Kate’s arguments and Hop Sing trying to tempt him with his favorite dishes.
Kate walked down the stairs to the main room. She had just finished putting Sam to bed. Joe still was not home and Ben had fallen asleep in his chair by the stone fireplace while reading a book. Sitting there, he looked like a very old man. The book was open across his chest and his head was thrown back. The last few months had aged him dreadfully and his hair was totally silver.
Kate Cartwright heard the front door opens slowly and saw her husband drag himself into the house. Adam took off his gun belt and hat, sighed deeply and put them on the sideboard near the door. Two other gun belts lay there, the one belonging to Hoss and Ben’s weapon. The absence of Joe’s things indicated to Adam that his younger brother still was not home. Hoss’s big white hat sat on the rack as it had since the night they brought his gear back from the sheriff’s office.
He looked through a pile of mail that one of the hands had brought back from town and noticed three pieces of mail from the offices of Stoddard and Bruce, a letter from Dennis and a thick envelope from the cavalry with bid information on horses. He pushed them aside and decided to look at them in the morning. There was no way he could pay them proper attention tonight. He was too tired.
Kate watched Adam head for their bedroom. His face was unshaven for days and his shoulders were slumped.
“Night!” he mumbled.
“Adam…please, …you need to eat something,” his wife said softly. Let me make you something.”
“No I don’t need to eat anything,” he replied rubbing his stiff shoulders and yawning. He ran his fingers through his black hair.
“I’m tired, Kate. I’m so damned tired I just want to go to bed and never wake up again,” he begged, “just…let me go to bed.” He walked into their bedroom and shut the door.Kate felt more alone watching all the people she loved retreat further and further into their grief and leave her standing alone.
Chapter 5
The sound of the axe cutting into the firewood was one that seemed
fitting to Adam Cartwright’s continuous rage. He was furious and venting it on the pile of firewood in front of him seemed to help. With each blow he imagined he was decapitating one of the Carson City gang. At least he could see some results from what he was doing. Unlike the long days he spent with the posse that had lead nowhere.
“Papa?
Adam looked up to see Sammy standing nearby “Mama said to come in for dinner. It’s steaks and mashed potatoes. The way you like it.”
”Ok, help me carry some of this fire wood.”
Sam reached out helpfully and let his father pile some kindling into his arms. Adam picked up a larger load and together they walked inside through the front door.
“Soon we’ll have to start cutting and stacking wood for the winter, Sam.”
Ben was working at the desk examining the ledgers and sorting through some of the stack of letter and paper work that had piled up the last few months since Hoss had died. He had so much difficulty staying focused on things this summer. Adam, who normally helped him stay ahead of the paperwork, was frequently pulled away to supervise other work on the Ponderosa Ranch.
“The army wants another string of horses in two weeks. “Ben remarked reading one of the letters.
Joe stood next to his father reading over his shoulder. “That won’t be a problem. We can deliver just what they need.”
”Joe, that’s pretty short order for the amount of head they want and how wild that bunch in the corral look.”
”They’ll be fine I’ll take care of them myself.” Joe said with a hard edge.
Sam and Adam filled the brown wood box next to the fireplace.
“Now go wash up, Sammy,” Ben said automatically without even looking up from his paperwork. After all the years of raising boys the words just rolled out of his mouth without the rancher even thinking about them.
Adam nudged Sam on the shoulder and sent him upstairs. “Joe, Pa is right, it’s an awfully short time to break all those horses.”
“I said don’t worry about it! It’ll get done on time.” He angrily walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a drink from the decanter. “Don’t butt in Adam. The horses are my business.”
“I’m not butting in, Joe. You are just totally wrong about this.”
Ben looked at Joe but decided that saying any thing more about the horses tonight was not going to improve his youngest son’s temper or decrease the amount of whiskey he was drinking.
“Any news from Clem Foster when you went into town this afternoon?” Ben asked trying to change the subject. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he realized he had selected the wrong topic.
”What do you mean?” Joe bristled.
“Any more news from the Sheriff about the Virginia City gang? Or are you spending the afternoons at the Silver Dollar as well as your evenings?” Adam blasted back with both barrels.
“Adam, we can’t do anything more. It’s done. Forget about it. The trail is cold and we are not going to find them.” Joe poured some more whisky into his glass and downed it in a gulp.
Adam slammed his fist into the wood box up ending it with a crash. The split logs rolled noisily to the floor. Adam shouted, “Shut up Joe!” He stared at Joe with frightening rage.
Ben felt that had Adam been within distance he would have grabbed his brother and pitched Joe across the room by the scruff of his neck – such was his furious glare. The noise sent Kate running into from the kitchen where she and the cook had been putting the last touches on dinner “Adam! Joe! Stop please stop.” she pleaded.
“Look, I’m sick of you telling me what to do, Adam.” Joe roared. He tossed back the rest his drink and walked towards the front door. He reached for his gun belt from where it lay coiled up on the sideboard next to his brother’s. For an instant he froze, seeing Hoss’s holster and gun belt sitting there and pulled back his hand as if he had touched a hot cook stove. He pulled his hat from the rack and grabbed his gun belt and stormed out the door. “Don’t wait up for me.” He shouted angrily and slammed the door behind him.
“Joseph!” Ben called, walking away from his desk. But it was too late. They heard Joe thunder off on Cochise a few minutes later. He galloped off into the night.
“Adam, I can’t endure any more of this battling between you two. What is wrong with you? ” Ben shouted at his oldest son standing toe to toe with him. Adam took a step backwards. His father was eye to eye with him.
”Pa, he wants to give up on finding the men who killed Hoss. I can’t let that happen. Not yet. I won’t give it up.”
”If you and your brother keep on this way it won’t matter what you do or if you find them. Look at you two!” Ben raised his voice ”Adam, you’re are going to kill yourself with over work and lack of sleep and your brother is going to drink himself to death or break his neck riding his horse like a lunatic.” His voice thundered throughout his house, as it hadn’t in years.
Kate ran over to her husband standing next to the fireplace and put her hand on his forearm.
“Adam,” she started. Her face was as white as the eyelet blouse she was wearing.
He pulled away furiously and pushed past her. Adam stormed out the front door just as his brother had a moment earlier. The front door slammed closed behind him with such force that the painting above the sideboard fell to the floor with a crash cracking the gilt frame.
Ben stared at Kate in despair.
“Kate, what are we going to do? I’m lost for what to do for them.” The pain from Hoss’s sudden death had left its mark on all of them; each in it’s own way. I’ve already buried one son; he thought in agony, I can’t let anything happen to the others.
”Ben we can’t give up now.“ She walked over to where he was standing and put her arms around him. She had known her father-in-law most of her life and would have done anything to help him. The only family she had was the Cartwrights and Sam and there was no way that Kate would let them flounder and sink.
When her uncle was shot to death over the editorials he was publishing about water rights, it was Ben Cartwright who helped bring the murderer to justice and made sure that Mim kept the Enterprise running. She remembered what Mim had said to her about keeping things together when it seems the hardest.
I have to be strong . . . she thought, trying to calm her emotions, that’s the only way I can help them all. I don’t have the luxury of being weak right now. Despite her best intent to not cry again, tears rolled down her cheeks. She was worn out from tending to Sam’s nightmares, refereeing fights between Joe and her husband and the grief she too was feeling from the loss of her beloved brother-in-law. Now Ben was asking for her support too. Kate missed being in her own house. Winter was fast approaching and no work even had been started on the house she and Adam had planned together the previous spring.
“Together, we’ll find a way to get through this, Ben. It might take some time, though but things won’t always be the way they are now.”
Ben nodded. “I know you’re right, Katie.” He reached down and wiped the tears from her face with his hand. “It’s just hard to remember that sometimes”
“The two of us will find a way through your pig headed sons. Even if I have to knock their foolish heads together” She tried to smile at her father-in-law. Ben couldn’t resist her attempts and chuckled out loud at the thought of his tiny daughter – in – law pounding his two tall muscular sons.
“You just do that Katie, “He patted her shoulder taking charge for the minute. “Lets get Sam down here for dinner. Your boy must be hungry even if my sons aren’t.
Chapter 6
Kate took at deep breath and opened the barn door. In the dim light of the kerosene lantern she could see her husband, his back to the door, tossing bedding into the stalls. He was working with angry ferocity. There was no need for him to be doing this. The Cartwrights had a bunkhouse full of hands to do this labor.
“Come inside Adam. You’ve been out here for over two hours.” She spoke to him as calmly as she could. “You have to eat some dinner. Sam is in bed already. He fell asleep waiting for you to say goodnight He wanted to show you a map he copied from the atlas.”
He continued to toss straw into the next stall. Even with his back to his wife and she could see by the way his trousers and shirt fit that he had lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks.
“We all can’t go on like this Adam.”
“Go back in the house Kate. I’ll be in later, when I’m done.,” he answered firmly.
“You can’t bring your brother back by running away from everything. “ She tried to keep her voice even. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She had too much frustration bottled up inside and she wasn’t used to confronting Adam. The only real disagreement they had ever had was when she insisted that none of the Cartwright brothers could teach Sam how to play poker or any other game that involved gambling. It reminded her too painfully of Al Striker, Sam’s father.
“You can’t bring him back by working yourself to death Adam Cartwright. Hoss is gone and he will never be back!” Kate screamed. She felt herself lose all her self-control and the words erupted from her broken heart like a tidal wave.
“You can never run so fast or so far, so just sit down and be still and face the truth of it. Your brother is dead. But you are not dead and I am not dead and we need each other now more than ever .Me, and your father, and your brothers, and Sam.”
Adam felt a cold shiver cross his body. She was nailing him with the truth.
“Killing yourself isn’t going to accomplish a damn thing! It won’t bring Hoss back!“ she raged. Everything she had bottled up in her for the last months exploded furiously in a burst of words.
“You taught me that we all makes the best decision at the time that we are able. And then you can’t be angry with yourself for making whatever decision you made. Remember that? That is what you told me one time and you know for sure that you were right. You’re a smart man Adam, and gave me good advice when I needed it most.” She balled up her fists and stood with both hands on her hips.
Her husband had seen Kate take that angry “hands on hips’ stance over the years but never directed at him. She had never taken that posture towards him as long as he knew her.
”Why can’t you follow your own advice? Do you remember how you told me that? Were you lying to me Adam Cartwright?” She hated lies more than anything in the world.
He shook his head. He leaned the pitch fork against the wall and stood facing her, his arms crossed against his chest.
”Do you think you are always right and never make a mistake Adam Cartwright? “She raged. She moved over closer to where he was standing and grabbed his shirtsleeve with yank.
He looked down at her, his brown eyes almost black in the dim light. He looked paiHoss and startled to hear her direct words smash into his face. “I.. I don’t know,” Adam said with a sigh. One thing about his wife that hadn’t ever changed was her persistence in getting to the truth, even when the truth was painful.
He drew a breath and started. “I should have been there. I should have been at the bank with Hoss. I – I went for a beer at the Silver Dollar. Two cold beers with Jack Fischer. I let my brother and my child walk into an armed bank robbery while I sat and drank a cold beer.”
His voice crackled with pain. Tears started rolling down his weary face. “I drank a cold beer while my brother was getting shot.”
“Do you think you should have been in the bank with Hoss! You were thirsty and you decided to have a beer. You decided to have a beer, Adam. You didn’t kill your brother. The bank robbers did. He and Sammy walked into the bank at the wrong moment.” Kate continued. The words bubbled out of her and she couldn’t control herself anymore.
“He saved Sam, Adam. Hoss saved my son. Our son. ”
“Do you think you could have saved Hoss if you were in the bank with him? Maybe you could have, but maybe you would have been shot too, Adam. Did you ever think of that possibility? Maybe, you would have been killed too! Then your father would have lost two sons not one. Joe and Phil would have lost two brothers, not just one. Sam would have no father. And,” she sobbed, “I would have lost the love of my life. And I could not have forgiven you ever if you did. Never Adam!” She sobbed, choking on her words. Hot tears burned in her eyes. Adam was speechless at her despair.
“Adam you didn’t kill Hoss…. Al Striker did.” she whispered.
She was shocked to hear her own words in the dark barn. It was almost like someone else had said them. She had never said it aloud. Every time Sam had said he saw his dead father she had told him that it was totally impossible. Striker was long gone. He had died in the sinking of the riverboat and she had a letter from the ship’s Captain in her drawer. But something nagged at her in a dark corner of her consciousness.
“What are you talking about?” Adam demanded. He grasped both of her hands in his and pulled her closer to him. He stared down into her flushed, tear streaked face. “Katie, what did you just say?”
His brown black eyes were wide with shock.
”Sam said he saw Al… and I am beginning to believe him. That is why they shot Mr. Chase and they shot the teller and they shot Hoss… but not Sam. Adam, it was Al. Al would never kill his own son. He is not really dead.”
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