Summary: A collection of Ben poems, Adam poems, and some about the family.
Category: Bonanza
Genre: Western
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4534
Chapter 1 = Ben
Ben’s Hallelujah
(Using the general pattern of Cohen’s Hallelujah song but more free verse than that.)
On a warm spring day, a baby boy
Came to me and brought such joy
Boundless treasure that sweet gift was
But I lost my wife though she left that son
He’s got her eyes
And her bright smile
I held him close and had to sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
To the far off west, we had to go
A dream of mine from years ago
My second love was waiting there
She healed my heart and gave us care
But none could see
Where it would lead
Another son, but tragedy
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
For years, I left my sons by night
And knelt to pray in bright moonlight
How could I go on with so much loss
Trees and mountains
The lake, a jewel
We found our new home
My lost dream had come true
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
My third love appeared and rescued me
And a baby boy she had with me
Three sons were there, my life was full
Until that day she fell
Once more I grieved
I felt my heart forever lost
But healing came from six warm hands
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
God’s gift of love that gave me hope
Came each time that I needed faith
To know Your love by what I lost
Came again each time despite great cost
I’m a rich man now
My sons give me love, and
No fear for You give life eternal
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
*****
Ben’s Green
Once there was a man who dreamed of tall green trees
that reached toward the sky and mountains, the clouds they did kiss.
He was famous for what he did in threes.
There were the wives he loved, lost, and most dearly did miss,
Yet the man who dreamed of green found more in hazel, blue, and brown.
His first-born son made him proud with ideas and leadership skills.
Number two son had a heart made of gold and strength of great renown.
The third, a scamp with a winning smile, was known for spills and thrills.
With timber, cattle, and mining, his green empire he did build,
By the name Ponderosa, all knew the vast expanse of his great ranch.
No woman called it home for the Cartwright curse made that wish unfulfilled.
On the ranch, these men had rousing but honorable carte blanche.
*****
Not Another
I lost three wives, but they gave me three sons.
The next to leave was my eldest, Adam, who was driven to pursue a dream.
My heart was weeping, but I had to let him go.
I took in strays like Candy, Griff, and Jamie for I had so much love to give.
Then Candy left to seek his own way, and I wished him well,
But when Hoss was lost, my heart was broken.
I still had two sons, and they did their best to help me heal.
Now they’re out there in this terrible storm. I cannot lose another.
*****
Ben’s POV:
Looking across the Ponderosa so dear to my sons and to me,
To make something to leave to their sons and their sons was my dream.
And each year there was more as water flows in a stream,
We prospered among many like to the top of the milk rises the cream.
But now I know that it came at great cost for nothing is free.
The native people who lived here have lost all that they had.
Disease, war, and hunger took a great toll causing me to be sad
For I never intended to be part of something so bad.
To be stewards of this land, for each pine that we cut, we planted a tree.
But for the people who gave all, I cannot replace what was lost.
Now the move to a reservation means they have paid the greatest cost.
My burden that the line between pride and guilt has already been crossed.
*****
Chapter 2 = Adam
MIB
How many men could say moo
And command respect from the crew
And oh the smirks he could do
When they were deservedly due
Dressed all in black,
Real fear he did lack.
With a steely look, he had a knack
To put great fear in a man’s back
That full lower lip
Made a female heart flip.
Always ready with a clever quip
His heart was still on his hip
His skin swarthy and tan
His broad shoulder span
Made many a woman
Want him as her man
The shoulders were strong
And the legs they were long
His voice gifted us with a beautiful song
But alas it was not to be for very long
To his family he gave all
Amidst the pines standing tall
In his heart though was the wanderlust call
It held him in its steely thrall
The man was a peach
The world was in his reach
He had to go out into the breach
He said goodbye, he gave his speech
But the treasure he most sought
Woman’s love in full measure caught
When he found that, then, he thought,
He could come home, but if no, then not.
*****
He Had To Go
How could he go
Yet how could he stay
He had a yearning to know
With a need to ride away
His father, Ben, did know
And felt in his heart
For a dream that must grow
A young man may depart
Hoss was most sad
For losing his best friend
But he knew it would be bad
If he couldn’t bend
The youngest of all
Joe had anger to burn
His temper cast a pall
On Adam’s thirst to learn
But in the end they all knew
Even a family apart
Is still held by the glue
Of great love in the heart
*****
The Paiute War
They once thought they were the only people on earth as their gods had willed
Then whites trickled into the mountains in search of furs and worse
Some were welcomed and some were killed
But the trade they brought hid a foul curse
Diseases with pox and fever took many away and tribes grew so weak
Their numbers dwindled and fear stalked their lands
Settlers and soldiers soon showed that the world was not for the meek
As all that these people owned was taken from their hands
As I sit here in a wickiup awaiting my fate
There is no rancor I can feel against my captors
My former friend and the chief of his people now driven by hate
They feel like the rabbits running away from the raptors
They no longer can feel great pride in what they have done
So I’ll die when the soldiers come for the battle these people do not deserve
But I know in my heart that I cannot hate even a single one
And I wish only that my life would a greater purpose serve
I cannot sleep this night as I pray for my rescue
But I know that my father and brother are seeking an impossible quest
When I die at the hands of these people I’ll know it’s true
My father will cry for me and for the deaths and losses of all the rest.
*****
Haiku
Sun lit pines and grass
Rays tickling grass, cows, and leaves
The man misses all.
Rain falling lightly
On the buildings and the trains
Sadly it’s not home.
Lonely and alone
Dreams of grass, horses, and pines
Holiday of one.
Tickets to buy and
Goodbyes and then travel
Over plains and hills.
Sun over pines and grass
Rays reflecting on bright snow
A Christmas at home.
*****
I Can’t Remember Her Voice
I can’t remember her voice
For Laura made another her choice
The pain she made me feel
Is altogether still much too real
But her wicked heart is no longer here
So no more treachery do I fear
I had thought to make her my wife
We would share hearth, health, and life
But she never loved as I did hope
Now with loss I must cope
For in my heart, Peggy was my daughter
Now she’s gone like the sun takes away the water
I needed her and she needed me
But being family is not to be
In my mind, I can see her run, laugh, and play
But the sound of her voice has gone away.
*****
Adam’s Lament
“I’ve wandered through the hearts of women all the years of my life,
And walked away from each one tired of the battles and the strife.
I’ve taken loving from dear ones giving of my time,
And been so gentle, kind, and warm but proud to be sublime.
I thought to find peace of mind, and everlasting love,
But could not keep and love any enchanting dove.
Now all I want is to find my soul and a woman who will share
My life and bed, and how I hope that someone soon will care.
If I cannot win the love of some warm and sweet lady quite soon
No one will know me as I die alone under a darkened moon.
The stone at my head will show I am dead but none may know,
That with a sweet lass, I never shared love’s quiet glow.”
“Now I know what I should do,
My father would know too,
If I am true love for to find,
I must be more than kind.
I need to chase after her with all that I possess,
And tell her all and let my heart confess.
I have heard that there is one quite ready to jump into my bed,
But then, my Tracy, dear, is there another who’d put a bullet in my head.
No, I shall find one whose heart is waiting but who is free
And then into marriage and the marriage bed we soon shall be.”
*****
Losses
It is spring when I see the roses and remember that my mother went away
I love her still and know she’s beside me every day
As being pricked by the rose’s thorns, with temptations near, from the righteous path, I may stray
But every time my mother’s voice inside brings me back the right way.
As summer brings forth beauty, I recall Inger, my second mother lost
My Pa and Hoss also bore that cost
Our hearts and souls were like summer thunderstorms tossed
But the memory of her sweet smile always melts our hearts sad early frost.
Marie was like a gust of tempestuous fall winds blowing through the campfire
As autumn leaves fell, she blew into our lives and often raised my ire
But like the cool colors of autumn, of her singing and lullabies, I never did tire
Until with the others, she too joined the heavenly choir.
Now through the long cold winter, we four men in solitude must live here
Though Pa keeps pictures of his desk of those we hold most dear
To warm us despite that none of us will marry is my father’s great fear
But like snowflakes unique from each other, we wait until the right choice for us is made clear.
*****
Leaving
Pa, you gave me life and brought me west.
As a father and a mother too, you were the best.
If I leave, it’s not your fault, there’s no one to blame.
It’s just that I can’t live my life with every day, week, and month the same.
I may not stay; I may have to go; but my heart will never leave you,
For wherever I go and whatever I do, forever I will remember and cherish you.
Hoss, you are the rock, my head on your shoulder I often did rest.
You’ve given me solace when life has been a test.
I still remember the day that into my life you came.
Life without you is a night without day, a candle without flame.
I may not stay; I may have to go; but my heart will never leave you,
For wherever I go and whatever I do, forever I will remember and cherish you.
Joe, you’ve given Pa every one of those white hairs I can attest.
When you were growing up, for us there was no rest.
I taught you to shoot, to ride, and wild horses to tame,
You’re ready now to shoulder the load and be the boss, I do claim.
I may not stay; I may have to go; but my heart will never leave you,
For wherever I go and whatever I do, forever I will remember and cherish you.
*****
Pa, Protect Me From Her
Pa, when Little Joe gets hurt
You always have a tear in your eye
For your little boy who really can flirt
When Hoss gets hurt
You ask to get well and try
To get up out of that dirt
Pa I need you to let me be hurt
Or from here I must fly
I’ve opened my shirt
And I’m laying her inert
Because Hank isn’t at all shy
He’ll cause me real hurt
Now Pa please act like I’m hurt
If he thinks I did try
But Abigail was the flirt
Sadly I was not alert
To get that kiss I did not ply
I only tried to avert
Pa, you’re the expert on comfort
Act as if I need it here where I lie
I shall truly be inert
Please do not in my need desert
Tell me when they say goodbye
Only then will I safely my good health assert
*****
Please Wait For Me While I Roam
But I yearn for more than this
Even knowing what I would miss
I could never leave you forever
Any more than my ties to my family to sever
But for me to grow, I need more than this endeavor
I know my father will be sad
And my youngest brother must by nature be mad
But it’s my middle brother I fear
Who will miss me most when I am no longer near
And I hold that big man most dear
So keep them safe while I am gone away
As powerful as the pine trees that sway
I know you can protect and treasure
Those that I value beyond measure
But I know to nurture them will be your pleasure
So I bid thee a fond farewell
When I return I cannot tell
But it will happen because you are my home
As dear as any rare tome
Please wait for me while I roam.
*****
Hold Your Temper
Ah, don’t lose your temper so early in the morning; you won’t have any left for the rest of the day.
And how I wish I’d told myself that on more than one occasion.
I chased after windmills so many times and never won the fight.
My dream is hovering out there as clouds float through the sky.
I had to hold my temper
When the sheriff coveted the press.
I had to hold my temper
When the senorita turned my guitar into a mess.
I had to hold my temper
When my brothers bet against me.
I had to hold my temper
When a convict took my possessions to flee.
I had to hold my temper
When my cousin stole Laura from me.
I had to hold my temper
When Joe’s scheme almost got me married.
I had to hold my temper
When Hoss wanted me buried.
I had to hold my temper
When I was asked the question
“How can anyone be so stupid?”
“It’s not easy.” It was the only answer I could give.
It’s good advice. I should listen to myself sometime.
Don’t lose your temper so early in the morning; you won’t have any left for the rest of the day.
*****
“the time would come when”
Adam knew the time would come when
That for him the rose would bloom once more
The lilacs were drenching the air with fragrance then
And daffodils bloomed like the rainbow’s gold ore
Many men liked the women with lavender scent
Others liked those topped with golden daisy hair
Some were happy with the short-lived lotus ancient
And others praised the violet in its woodland lair
But Adam wanted the flower unique
With a majestic bloom in red opening petals to the sky
And a mien so sweet his interest it would pique
The one whom he wanted would make his heart soar and fly
*****
Brothers
At their births, he put his hand over his heart and promised to protect,
To love them, watch over them, and their needs never to neglect.
Like the quilt upon his bed where the rose was protected by the thorn,
His two brothers were the beauty of his world.
The treasure of the bud as they grew older unfurled.
Like the quilt so lovingly stitched, his family fabric could not be torn.
*****
Ode to Adam
The Great Artist was truly inspired that day you were born
To sculpt the man you are with heart and soul that care:
Pleasing to the eye with grace and classic form
And character within that impresses without compare.
How lost in envy each woman is who sees you kiss
A rival for your affection and wishes she was there,
But is forced to live with you only in her dreams day and night;
Each day we still miss
Dimples, broad chest, long legs, and luscious dark hair
Cherishing photo images of our dark-clad shining knight.
*****
Chapter 3 = mixed family
Our Pa’s Dream
Dear Ponderosa, my love and my life
As dear as any wife
Our blood is in your land
Our tears have watered your growth and
Our sweat has made Pa’s dream grand
*****
The Cabin
Little Joe
Where were you?
I searched and searched.
I found this old cabin.
It’s still in great shape, Pa.
I didn’t know a cabin was there.
The trees are big. The windows are dirty.
But the lady inside was real nice to me.
Adam, she sang beautiful songs in French.
Joe, we don’t live in that house
For a very good reason so we don’t
Have to live with
Your mother’s
Restless ghost!
“Je’taime, mon cheri,
I cannot let you go.
I am so lonely here by myself.
I will keep you here with me.”
“Mama, I can’t leave Papa all alone.”
“Then I will keep you as I love you, and
your other can go back to your Papa.”
Eerily, the boy’s essence of sweet goodness and calm
Then slipped like a shadow away from him
And nestled in his mother’s ethereal arms.
The mischief maker, scamp, and mercurial essence remained
And walked away as if in a dream
From the old cabin in the woods
Where the family had lived
Until Marie had died.
And the family wondered if the defiant five year old
Could ever be managed
For despite patience and perseverance,
The adventurous boy defied any attempt to fence him in.
*****
What Would Adam Do?
Adam’s been gone for many a year
We miss him dearly and must still our fear
Between letters that arrive rarely you hear
Hoss and I decided that on his birthday this year
We would celebrate with a play and a cold beer
Our clothing choices were mine I fear
For with Adam gone it gets hard to remember what he liked most
We’ve accomplished a lot on the Ponderosa we boast
But missing our brother we certainly must toast
For a time we did wonder how to celebrate this year
And our choice was to do what Adam would like most
Dressed all in black we went to a play and now we need beer
*****
Heavens to Hannah!
Heavens to Hannah! Pa’s already home
Here I am reading, I better put away this tome
He already says I have too much in my dome
And it interferes with my thinking.
Heavens to Hannah! Pa is already back
Of knowing when Pa was near, I thought Adam had the knack
But this time he didn’t know jack,
And little brother is still in jail, I’m thinking.
Heavens to Hannah, where are those brothers of mine?
If they don’t get in here to help me pay this fine,
Pa’s gonna kick me where the sun don’t shine.
What could they be thinking?
Heavens to Hannah! It’s good to be here
It so quiet and full of peace with no fear
Because my boys would never stray and are so dear
They should each get their due, I’ve been thinking.
*****
letter to Santa
Santa, please there’s one big thing I want you to do
It’s cause I know my Pa and Hoss would be real happy to get it
You see my oldest brother Adam is far away at school, it’s true
I was wondering if you could see that he would get bad grades for a bit
Cause my teacher told me that if I did really bad
They would have to kick me out of school and that’s not at all sad
I’d get to be home and have lots of fun
So if they kicked Adam out he’d have to come back
We could ride all the day long and run in the sun
My brother could teach me stuff cause he’s got the knack
Or so Pa always tells me when he gets kinda sad
Don’t tell Adam though cause he might get real mad
*****
Resolutions Not
I’m not gonna say I’m sorry no more
Adam won’t have to listen to insults that make him sore
Pa won’t have to lecture me for my unfortunate play
and Hoss won’t have to fall for my schemes and pay
But it really isn’t my fault that Hoss is so easy to fool
Or that Pa thinks I’m still like a boy at school
*****
Four Cs talk
Now, Adam, I was in that church the same as you
I swear to you this that I heard is true
But why I say did the wise men bring
Gold, common sense, and fur to the newborn king?
Oh, how foolish you are, Little Joe,
That’s not what they brought, no, no, no
They brought gold, frankincense, and myrhh for the child
You heard what was familiar to you here in the wild.
I am not foolish, older brother, you are to blame
For who would want those things that you can name
And anyone who thinks that is the true story
Is foolish beyond measure, and I’m sorry.
Oh no, my son, on that day a baby boy
Came to earth to bring us joy
A host of angels proclaimed the deed
But none could see where it would lead.
Brothers they said the baby boy came to rescue we
The savior someday the baby boy to be
The birth we celebrate with glee was to spare us tears
So that we had hope instead of fears.
Nor should anyone blame me if Adam is so sensitive
Because they all make me feel so apprehensive
Who am I kidding? Not me I say
Adam needs to learn how to play
Hoss loves to play along with my plans so smart
and Pa needs me to keep him young at heart
Resolutions are for those too old to know
That fun is what gives life its glow
If they can’t see the whole darn story
Well then I guess they’ll get my ‘I’m sorry!’
*****
empty, ache, fear
Fear strides in
Holding my heart in its hands.
My brother needs help and
My mind is empty of thought
As drought is of rain.
How can fear take away what we are?
I ache with the need
To do what I must.
Fear holds me back
My conviction lacks trust.
Finally I just run
He needs me so much.
I grab hold of Adam
Saving two not just one.
*****
Daffodils on the Ponderosa
Daffodils blooming like a sea of gold in my valley
To plant flowers on a working ranch, Marie, my dear
When you did, I laughed at such frivolity
But now it lets my heart warm at memories so clear
Whenever Pa rides by here I’ve seen him stop to admire
These gorgeous yellow flowers with their hint of whimsy
I’ll draw a picture so he can gaze at each stately spire
Whenever he chooses to remember this golden sea
These purty yeller flowers make for a right fine walk
I can hear birds singing and bugs a buzzing away
Little rabbits hop about as long as we don’t talk
Sure happy Pa let Marie plant ’em that long ago May
All these pretty yellow flowers here where no one can see
It’s a shame to waste them when they could do so much better
There’s enough for a big bouquet for Sue and one for RoseMary
Another for Beth and for Mary and a last one for Ginger.
*****
Sam Writes the Story of the Cartwrights
So, Sam, ifn ya was writing a story of my family,
What would ya be saying ’bout my father
‘Cause he lost three wives but got himself three sons?
In his heart, I’d write there must be three books.
In the first are black ribbons and in the other red ones.
Are the black for our mothers and the red for us sons?
No, just the opposite: he’s still in love with his wives, but
His sons haven’t gifted him with grandsons so that is a loss.
In his heart, there is a hole calling out a sad refrain:
Leaving a legacy been doggin’ my soul since the day I was born.
Now your younger brother is another matter entirely.
He seeks to be smarter and faster than his eldest brother by far;
He wants what you have and is so much younger and smaller.
He seeks to stand tall in his father’s eyes so his goal is to rise and his cry is thus:
Fear of losing been doggin’ my soul since the day I was born.
What about me? I ain’t worried none ’bout a legacy,
and I don’t have to win cause just being me has always been fine.
Yes, you are happy with the life you lead here,
But you must protect them from threats within and without
Settling disputes between those you do love and among your good friends,
And that’s a pressure that can cost you pain and headaches until you exclaim
Trying to smile through trouble been doggin’ my soul since the day I was born.
True ‘nough said there with them fancy words ya got.
But what of older brother and what his soul has to say?
His is the saddest tale starting in tragedy with his mother dying at his birth.
Then your mother died before his eyes as he held you in his arms.
He watched over you and Joe when Marie passed away.
Every lost love and friend turned the wrong way reminds him to say:
Trouble been doggin’ my soul since the day I was born.
***The End***
WomenWritersBlock 