Ben Raised his Boys RIGHT (by Robin)

Summary:  A REALLY Lost Episode

Word Count:  1100

 

 

                                       Ben Raised his Boys RIGHT

 

 

Prologue

 

Pa may have raised his sons better than that BUT… did you do EVERYTHING your parents told you to do?

 

Chapter One

 

The Ponderosa Ranch

1848

It was the night before Adam Cartwright was leaving the Ponderosa for Back East University. His younger brothers had already gone to sleep and his father sat him down on the settee by the fire. He poured each of them a cup of coffee and said, “Son, when you go off to college, remember the wise words of my own father, Joseph Cartwright.”

“The one Little Joe was named for?” Adam sipped some coffee from his saucer. He had learned this trick from Roy Coffee’s kitty, Starbuck.

“Yes, my father, the one Joe was named for,” Ben said. He sighed. Hopefully Adam would give up on imitating cats when he went back east to college.

“What did your father say Pa?” Adam asked inquisitively.

“This is what my own dear father told me when I went off to sea, ‘Take your boots off before you go swimming.’ That is what he told me.” Ben explained.

“Yes, sir,” Adam nodded. “I sure don’t want to drown.”

“Don’t mess with a junk yard dog, pull on Superman’s cape or spit into the wind,” Ben added.

“Yes, sir,” Adam took notes. He was very orderly. And this was one of those Hallmark moments that he wanted to preserve.

“You got to know when to hold ’em,

Know when to fold ’em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.

There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.” Ben sang. He leaped onto the coffee table and did a little cha cha cha.

“Pa, your father was very wise,” Adam nodded. “And you sing awfully well.”

“Thank you, son. You sing well too,” Ben acknowledged. He jumped off the table and sat down on the red leather chair. “My father was a good singer and a good card player as well.”

“What else?” Adam asked. He licked the point of his pencil and waited to write down Pa’s words.

“And my father was a winner at Mah Jong!” Ben recalled.

“Yes sir, Bingo too, I heard. What else did my grandfather tell you before you went off to see the sea? “

“And, most importantly,” Ben’s face took on a very serious expression. “No glove, no love!”

Adam nodded so vigorously he looked like a bobble head. He just couldn’t wait to go to college.

 

Chapter Two

 

Ponderosa Ranch

1854

“Hoss, remember the wise words of my own father, Joseph Cartwright (the first). This is what my own dear father told me when I went off to sea. There are things a man needs to know about life, and living and…” Ben hesitated. Hoss was sort of shy.

“And what, Pa?” Hoss asked. His innocent blue eyes were wide. He was all set to leave on the cattle drive the next morning. Adam and Little Joe had gone to sleep and he an Pa were sharing big cold glasses of milk and apple pie.

“And WOMEN!” Ben added.

“Ohhh…” Hoss blushed. He stared at the pie hoping that someday he met a fine wife who could bake pie.

“Take your boots off before you go swimming.”

“Yes, sir,” Hoss nodded.” I sure don’t want to drown.”

“Don’t mess with a junk yard dog, pull on Superman’s cape or spit into the wind,” Ben added.

“Yes, sir,” Hoss nodded. “I love dogs but sure wouldn’t mess with a junk yard dog. And I’m mighty careful when I spit, Pa. Want to see?”

“No, son, don’t spit now. I am eating pie,” Ben shook his head.

“Ok,” Hoss agreed.

“You got to know when to hold ’em,

Know when to fold ’em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.” Ben sang.

“Pa, you sing real good,” Hoss smiled.

“Thanks Hoss. And don’t eat anything that is bigger than your head or fell on the ground for more than five seconds..”

“Yes, sir. Five second rule.” Hoss noted.

“And, most importantly,” Ben’s face took on a very serious expression. “No glove, no love!”

Hoss nodded so vigorously he looked like a bobble head. He would remember to pack his woolen mittens that Santa had brought but couldn’t figure out why in the middle of summer Pa thought he needed gloves.

 

Chapter Three

 

Ponderosa Ranch

1860

“Little Joe, remember the wise words of my own father, Joseph Cartwright (the first)….” Ben said as he poured a snifter of brandy for himself and his youngest son.

“But not the best, Pa,” Joe grinned and winked. He took a sip of the brandy.

Ben ignored his son’s bold comment and took a sip of his own drink. Then he continued. “My own dear father, Joseph Cartwright, had a talk with each of his sons when they left home for the first time. Now that you are off on your own for the first time to San Francisco, there are things a man needs to know about life, and living and…” Ben hesitated. “I had a talk like this with Adam and Hoss the first time they went off on their own into the wider world.”

Joe shrugged nonchalantly. “Pa, I really should be getting into town and catch that stage coach.”

“First this discussion. It is very important. Do you understand what I mean, Little Joe?”

“I suppose so.” Joe loved his father but sometimes he was a bit annoying. Joe hated being the youngest and everyone worrying over him all the time.

“Joe, there are many mysteries in life,” Ben started.

“And?” Joe knew there were many mysteries in life.

“And WOMEN.” Ben swallowed the rest of his drink.

“Women?” Joe raised his eyebrows. His heart started racing and his pants grew tighter.

“Yes son, women. Sometimes asking questions about women can be awkward for a man,” Ben said gently.

Joe smiled and leaned back in his chair. “Sure, Pa! Ask away. What is it that you want to know?”

 

The End

No gloves were harmed in the making of this episode.

If you want to learn more about gloves, go to your local library or ask your Pa.

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